Knowing that my partner could “go there” with me, even if only occasionally, built an element of trust and a much deeper level of connection. And what a gift it is to be able to provide that space for each other when needed.”. As a social species we all have core needs for love, safety and belonging. The ones that hold back, or aren’t even all that sure about how to truly feel a wide range of emotions, sometimes seem to be living in a way of “going thru the motions”. The whole world watched him cry then! This created a vicious cycle of two people squashing tears, feelings, words, and emotions.
The truth is that (pretty much) everyone cries, even if we do it for different reasons. ", 4. I believe crying is a doorway to intimacy, once it is open the other person can walk in and see who we really are – a perfectly messy and beautiful expression of human love. I didn’t want to see him hurt, and I wanted to make him feel better. I do my best to recognize it’s not my job to fix him, save him, or mother him till he feels “better”. I think this is profound to see in anyone, not just men.

Don’t make him feel like his tears are burdens on you and that you just want to get it over with already. It’s not something to be ashamed of nor is it something we need to hide! Why? Food, friendships, sex, entertainment, travel, and even relaxation seems a bit more satisfying when experienced by “deep feelers”. We’re all a work in progress. Have you ever cried and had someone tell you “don’t cry”? But tears are a release of built up energy… they are a surrender.. a let go.. a death … and there is massive (very androgynous) power in that.

Men who lead with vulnerability are an example to others that its safe to do the same. And you probably won’t see him cry again if you keep letting him know that you’re shocked by his tears. Embrace your man like you would on any other day. Your man needs to feel loved right now, and he needs a hug and a shoulder to cry on. It can be intense. These years of emotional constipation turned me into a suppressed, irritable shell of a person. However, I think it’s important to note that even with all of these things… there was still never a point when seeing my partner cry made me uncomfortable. I feel closer to him, I feel safe… knowing he’s really with himself and his heart, and I feel even more feminine, able to hold space and nurture. © 2020 by Tango Media Corporation All Rights Reserved. I think it’s okay for a man to cry, especially in front of his woman. Does it make them melt? After several years of actively suppressing my feelings, a particularly traumatic year washed over me and I began to crack open. If we aren’t letting our emotions be what they are day to day, then they will mount into an all-consuming erupting volcano of unmanageability. I get red in weird places and snot is somehow almost immediately everywhere. It makes me feel weak and dumb and useless. Maybe you don’t think it’s so bad, but he obviously thinks so. I worked with her for several years and when I saw her crying, I really didn't know what to do in that situation, I felt helpless. The idea that women can’t accept male emotions is completely false. He just maybe hasn’t been encouraged to access those parts of himself that he has repressed, because of messages he received growing up. I never want to see her cry again because of something that I've done. It's also because, to many people, crying means losing control — and when you're a woman, the last thing you want is to be seen as "hysterical" if you want to be taken seriously. I love it when my wife cries because she's happy. Cute! I trust that this is raw and real and deep in all the ways partnership needs to be. How do you feel? If a women cried I would let her cry to let it out so she feels better and try to help her fix her problems. Sometimes his tears are in response to a happy life event, maybe a proud moment in the life of a loved one, or it could be over sadness or fear about a health concern, his own or someone else’s. To see my partner break down and cry has always been a reminder that he feels just as deep as I do.

"It makes me feel like crap even if i see one crying even if i did nothing a woman can make me sad if they are crying. So how could I not see the strength and courage in his tears? It would be a very bad sign for a relationship if one or both people don’t feel comfortable enough to open up to the other. For the majority of my twenties, I didn’t cry in front of a woman once. It can also be deep in my feminine nature to want to care take and soothe, but I’ve found that simply holding space is all that is needed (similar to how I want to be treated when I’m feeling emotional). Besides, sadness – like happiness and every other emotion -is purely energy that needs to move. To be trusted to share in the depths of someone’s happiness, pain, grief, sadness, or bliss can be incredibly bonding. "I hate to see a woman cry, especially if she's hurt or upset. Ultimately, I hope my partner will grow to trust all emotions are safe in my presence and by experiencing them in front of each other, we can help lighten the emotional load we carry throughout the rest of life.”. I do know that I feel better after I cry, so I can appreciate what might be appealing to people about that wrung-out lightness that comes after a good bout of sobbing. Once a man cry in front of the woman he loves, it means he is serious. The men in my life who have blessed me with the gift of seeing them fully, I can full heartedly say I have the deepest respect and adoration for.”. It draws me to the now moment, where all we have is our two beating hearts… together. “When I’m in the presence of a man who drops into his vulnerability and allows me to witness his emotional expression, my immediate thought is “Wow, this guy is brave, he’s a true leader and I am honoured to be in the presence of such honesty.” For me, I see men’s expression of vulnerability as strength. Just as long as they’re breaking down in tears over a Save the Children commercial every other hour the way a super emotional woman would!

The outside no longer matches the inside. However, it’s been my experience that those who allow feelings to wash over them freely, even if those feelings make them cry, these are the ones that seem to ultimately find their way to a happier life the fastest.”. So men grow up thinking that if they cry, it means they are less of a man. He’s not you, and a hot cup of tea won’t make everything better. However, the actual act of crying itself is something I can't stomach. It's just something that my face, you know, does. When you cry, I trust my love with you. "For me, it ranges from indifference to joy. Just the fact that the tears made it through that assumed pressure to “man up” and to this moment takes courage and feels important. I constantly was trying to prove I was just as tough as them, just as cool as them, and I used to sit there and pinch myself to keep from crying. It was as if I had been gifted access to an extra special layer of their being and was able to understand who they were at the core, so much more. "A woman crying — especially if when happens at work, makes me uncomfortable and unsure what to say or do. It's how she wins every single time. You can see the tears welling up in his eyes ready to pour down his face. Within the confines of a committed relationship, this has definitely been a recipe for confusion, resentment, and eventually the crumbling of what we wanted to build together. Why make a scene and embarrass him? Suppressing our emotions to fit some arbitrary gender-box is a significant factor in what leads men to become suicide statistics, mass shooters, rapists, and murderers.
So when we choose to go against our early programming, our bodies often react in a way that feels like facing the fear of death if we’re rejected or ostracized… especially by those we love! I believe that in order to fully show up in the world you must know and trust all facets of yourself within the human experience.

'", 10. It didn’t really seem to hurt his image!". Nowadays I try to give her feelings space and wait until she can articulate something concrete that I can help her with. In this moment, you need to pay very close attention to your man. My friend said that when a man cries in front of his woman, it’s a sign of weakness and she’d prefer a man who’d just toughen up. I don't think I'm alone on this one. "Crying during an argument just feels so unfair. ", 11. ", 5. No, you haven’t.


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