", "If you ran like your mouth you'd be in good shape. I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it. Please do so and share it with all your friends today.

If your brain exploded, it wouldn’t even mess up your hair. Looking for some inspiration? You’re so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit. If you ran 1,000,000 miles to see the boy/girl of your dreams, what would you say when you got there? Had a laugh with our funny insults? How does one get better at comebacks? 7 Best Mean Comebacks From Reddit. You’re so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar. They didn't even include Pluto. The longer a person talks, the better the chances are of you finding that one aspect of their delivery to focus your comeback on. If you know anything about this character, you'll know that George is so adamant to use his comeback on that co-worker that he actually flies to Ohio from New York just to try and set up the scenario again! ~If someone gives you, “If everyone is jumping off a cliff, you would too?” line, then reply with a, “Of course. ", "What to say to a fake friend: 'I hope that bus you threw me under swerves and hits you on the sidewalk. You’re so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks. You have a very sympathetic face. Know the points which you want to hit on but don’t plan your witty comeback in detail. If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional. Even though you didn’t plan the details of your comeback, you should know what makes the material you decided to focus on interesting. yes you!! The written word doesn’t carry the same meaning, because it’s missing non-verbals. Another idea is to try and swallow your pride and raise the status of the other person. If you are going to be at two face at least one has to be preety, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, Terminator Genisys Sucks So Bad James Cameron Vomited, funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes So Good You'll Laugh Till You Cry, 37 Best Anthony Jeselnik Jokes & Quotes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Mitch Hedberg Quotes & Jokes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs, 35 Best Funny Drinking Toasts For Friends You Need To Know, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All Jerks Up, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, 99+ [Unique] Funny & Serious Dog Names You Need To Know.

If everyone jumped off, the world’s gonna be quite boring to live alone. If you're going to try and insult me, at least be grammatically correct.

You’re the reason they invented double doors! Or did your neck just throw up? People like you are the reason I’m on medication. The purpose for the following comebacks and remarks are that you want to shift the attention from yourself to the guy(s) who initiated the conversation. Did someone leave your cage open?

This part takes the most skill and is somewhat hard to teach. Worse, it leaves a negative drag on other people's energy and tears teams apart. Comeback-ing truly is an artform. Until you called me I couldn’t remember the last time I wanted somebody’s fingers to break so badly. According to Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant who once worked with a condescending manager, when banter turns toxic, it means death for innovation. Witty comebacks can’t be planned. These cookies do not store any personal information. Use them however you like! Hey, here’s a hint. I may be fat,but you’re ugly,and I can diet!!! I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. "If you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. ", "I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong. I don’t think you’re unintelligent. Oh my God, look at you. How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? Bad idea in your case.

You’re so fat, your double chin has a double chin.

My grandma was in line (they’ve kind of met a few times in passing before) and she gets up to the register and my grandfather (attempting to hit on her) says “How’d you get through life looking so ugly?” And my grandma replies, “I don’t know but you’ve been doing it longer than I have”. My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since you’re really strange…. You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back! Someone was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation. You’re a whole lot worse. Oh dear! You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? Read more, Comebacks when people make fun of the way you look, Funny relationships, dating and hook up comebacks, Funny replies to everyday sayings and nosy questions, Funny replies to rude parenting questions, Snappy Comebacks for All Situations Bundle, How to answer stupid breastfeeding and pregnancy questions, Hi, I’m Bryn and I created this site to help people with, Top ten comebacks for someone who doesn’t have a, Top ten comebacks to insults when people attack your. Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.

My grandpa was working a sub shop at the register. To start the fun, enjoy an insulting quote from one of my favorite comedies. Cancel my subscriptions … I’m tired of your issues. People tend to listen most to those who talk the least, and establishing yourself as a vocal authority involves letting others finish their thoughts first. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. You’re so fat, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad. I really don’t like you but if you really must leave a message, I’ll be nice and at least pretend to care. A shared laugh is a great way to reduce tension, it makes people feel included and reinforces what's easy to forget — that we are all in this together. Witty Comebacks. If you think these clean roasts are amusing, you’ll also like this 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List. The trick to filling in the blanks of your comeback is to be fully confident in what you think of the situation at hand. The art of the comeback revolves around using what your opponent has said against them.

Once you’ve listened to the material and armed yourself with a general approach, it’ll come time to fill in the finer details of your comeback.

Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. You are so fake, even China denied they made you. You were dragged through dumb-ass forest. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don’t just want to insult someone—you want to own the room.



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